This October, as part of our annual focus on the big feelings of our little ones, we present a curated selection of books designed to support and guide them through their emotional journeys. These carefully chosen titles will help children understand their emotions, navigate difficult situations, and build resilience. Through engaging stories and relatable characters, these books provide essential tools for emotional growth and self-awareness. 

Our expert of the month - Hoopla, a mental health app offering families a safe, supportive space to navigate childhood's emotional challenges. It provides personalised resources to help manage anxiety, improve family communication, and build resilience. Nancy Hage, Chief Psychology Advisor, brings her expertise as a child and family therapist to ensure evidence-based, real-world solutions. Her dedication helps families foster emotional well-being and deeper connections.

Understanding Emotional Regulation:

Emotional regulation helps children manage emotions like anger, sadness, and joy in healthy ways. It's crucial for building resilience, navigating social situations, and handling challenges. Parents can act as “emotional regulation guides” to help their children learn these important skills.

Co-Regulation vs. Self-Regulation:

Co-regulation is when parents help children manage their emotions by staying calm, offering support, and modeling coping skills. Children learn to self-regulate by first experiencing co-regulation. Over time, they internalize these strategies and manage emotions independently. For example, a parent might help a child calm down during a tantrum by breathing together (co-regulation). Later, the child uses this technique on their own when feeling upset (self-regulation).

The Cycle of Developing Self-Regulation:

Final Thoughts

Children struggling with anxiety may find self-regulation particularly challenging because their emotions are more intense. Co-regulation is key in these situations to provide the support children need to learn how to manage their feelings. As children practice these skills with their parents’ guidance, they build resilience and confidence, reducing the impact of anxiety over time.

Teaching emotional regulation is a gradual process that requires patience and consistency. With the right strategies, parents can help their children manage emotions, build resilience, and develop healthy coping habits that will benefit them throughout their lives. For more resources, visit the Hoopla App.

Emotional Regulation for Ages 0-2

Parents can can support the early development of emotional regulation skills by providing responsive soothing for infants and introducing simple emotional language and routines for toddlers.

Characteristics of Emotional Regulation for Infants (0-1 Year):

Strategies for Infants:

Characteristics of Emotional Regulation for Toddlers (1-2 Years):

Strategies for Toddlers:

Emotional Regulation for Ages 3-5

Characteristics of Emotional Regulation for Ages 3-5:

• Impulsivity: Children in this age group have limited impulse control and can be easily overwhelmed by their emotions.

• Simple Emotional Expression: They are just beginning to understand and express basic emotions like happiness, sadness, and anger.

• Dependence on Adults for Regulation: Young children rely heavily on adults to help them regulate their emotions through soothing and guidance.

Strategies:

1. Emotion Naming and Validation:

• Help children identify and label their emotions. For example, “You look like you’re feeling really sad because we can’t go outside right now.”

• Validate their feelings without judgment. “It’s okay to feel sad. I understand.”

2. Simple Breathing Techniques:

• Teach children to take “belly breaths.” Ask them to place a hand on their belly and feel it rise as they breathe in and fall as they breathe out.

3. Routine and Predictability:

• Establish consistent daily routines. Knowing what to expect can reduce anxiety and help children feel more secure.

Activity: Emotion Charades

Materials Needed:

• Emotion cards with simple faces show different emotions (happy, sad, angry, surprised).

Instructions:

• Take turns selecting an emotion card.
• One person acts out the emotion on the card using facial expressions and body language, while the other person tries to guess the emotion.
• Talk about a time you each experienced this emotion.

Parent-Child Conversation Starters:

• "What made you smile today?"
• "Can you show me your happy face? What about your sad face?"
• "What do you like to do when you feel mad?"
• "When you feel scared, what can we do to help you feel better?"

Objective: Help recognize and express emotions in a safe and playful environment.

Emotional Regulation for Ages 6-8

Characteristics of Emotional Regulation for Ages 6-8:

• Increased Emotional Awareness: Children can understand and express more complex emotions like frustration, jealousy, and embarrassment.
• Beginning to Use Self-Regulation: They start using simple strategies like taking deep breaths or seeking a comforting object.
• Developing Empathy: Children are beginning to understand the feelings of others and can show empathy.

Strategies:

• Problem-Solving Skills: Teach children to solve problems by identifying the issue, thinking of solutions, and choosing the best one. Use a simple framework: "Stop, Think, Choose."

• Emotional Vocabulary Expansion: Introduce new words for different emotions, such as “frustrated,” “disappointed,” and “excited.” This helps children articulate their feelings better.

• Modeling Healthy and Realistic Coping Skills: Show your child how to handle frustration and setbacks in everyday situations. For instance, if you make a mistake or feel stressed, express your feelings calmly and demonstrate coping strategies like taking deep breaths or using positive self-talk. Say something like, “I’m really frustrated right now, but I can handle this. I’m going to take a deep breath and try again.” Allow your child to see that managing emotions is a process that takes effort, and it’s okay to take time to calm down.

Activity: Problem-Solving Game

Materials Needed:

• Cards with different problem scenarios.

Instructions:

1. Take turns selecting a problem card and reading or describing it out loud.

2. Together, think of three possible solutions.

3. Discuss which solution you would choose in that situation and why.

Objective: Practice problem-solving skills and consider different perspectives.

Parent-Child Conversation Starters:

1. "What was the best part of your day? What was the hardest?"

2. "Can you tell me about a time when you felt really proud of yourself?"

3. "What do you do when you feel worried about something?"

4. "How do you know when someone else is feeling sad?"

Emotional Regulation for Ages 9-11

Characteristics of Emotional Regulation for Ages 9-11:

• Complex Emotional Understanding: Children can identify mixed emotions, such as feeling both happy and nervous about an event.
• Improved Self-Regulation: They are better at using strategies independently, such as taking a break when upset.
• Social Awareness:

  Peer relationships become more significant, and children care more about fitting in.

Strategies:

1. Encourage Journaling:

• Provide a journal where children can write about their feelings. This helps them process emotions privately and reflect on their experiences.

2. Teach Mindfulness Techniques:

• Simple mindfulness practices, like focusing on breathing or paying attention to the sounds around them, can help children stay calm and focused.

3. Role-Playing:

• Practice different scenarios where children might feel strong emotions. Role-play how they can handle those situations, such as feeling left out at school.

Activity: Journaling Prompts

• Journal or notebook, pen.

1. Provide your child with a list of journaling prompts, such as:
• “Write about a time today when you felt really happy. What were you doing?”
• “Did anything make you feel upset today? What did you do and how did it help?”
• “What are three things you are grateful for today?”
2. Encourage the child to write for 5-10 minutes each day using the prompts.

Objective: Journaling helps children explore their emotions in depth and develop self-reflection skills.

1. "What is something you’re really proud of doing recently?"
2. "How do you handle it when you’re feeling really angry?"
3. "What’s something that you’re worried about? Let’s talk about it."
4. "What do you do when a friend is feeling sad or upset?”